We Need To Talk, No Really
Or nothing will get fixed
Last night Canada had a really close call. TOO close.
Despite all the damage and hurt being caused south of our border, a lot of Canadians still chose to vote for someone who would bring much, if not all of that same damage and hurt up here.
As a marginalized person, this prospect was terrifying to me, both for my own sake, and for my communities. We were at risk of losing human rights. We were even at risk of losing citizenship (if Canada was in fact annexed).
The thing is, while the vote was close, the PROBLEM is that the 'two sides' (Liberal and Conservative) are very much NOT.
Online political discourse has degraded to the point where 'both sides' seem to more or less view the 'other' side's politicians as a mixture of 'stupid' and 'evil'. I'm sure you can understand how that is very unhelpful.
Social media was supposed to bring us together, to help us stay more connected, but it has pushed us further apart and led to us talking to each other less. Algorithms have been weaponized against us. Even the platforms themselves are now 'left' (bluesky) vs 'right' (twitter/truth social)
In a time when we need to be talking and problem solving TOGETHER, we're locked in separate rooms trying to talk through a wall. This is NOT how you solve really big problems.
I've been asked several times lately 'why did you start an events company?', and part of the answer is because we're all lonely, tired, and stressed. Social media and an ongoing pandemic have exacerbated a loneliness epidemic. Many people just don't have the energy or willpower to go out of their way to find (let alone maintain) new deeper connections.
I keep seeing the question "how do you make new friends as an adult?"
Many social events have no facilitation or guided mixing, they leave it entirely up to the individuals to connect with the people around them. And a lot of people are too anxious or shy to do so. That used to be me!
So one of my goals with my events is to structure activities so that people get a chance to meet and connect (even if briefly) with as many other people as possible, because it increases their chances to find someone they resonate with.
Getting back to the point - I feel like society at large is failing at this as well. We're all being left to our own devices to 'stay informed' and to 'vote and pray'. But 'our own devices' are keeping us isolated, making us scared, depressed, and angry, and convincing us that everyone else not 'on our team' is stupid and evil.
One of the things I've learned in leadership (and therapy), is that when you're trying to resolve a dispute, one of the best ways to start that is to find the common ground. "Okay, what can can we both agree on?"
Because when you find that common ground, you realize 'well, if this person believes the same thing as me, they can't be entirely stupid and evil'.
We need to start talking (in good faith) again, finding common ground. Or nothing will get fixed.
It’s time to start.
We all have some hard conversations to have, but we have them because we care, and I think that’s something every single one of us can agree on. We care, and want a better life and a better future. There’s the common ground, now let’s find the ways we agree that can be achieved.
Lacey Artemis (she/they) is a neurodivergent speaker, consultant, and media producer. She is the founder of Neuromix Consulting which provides sensory accessibility and neuro-inclusion consulting, as well as anti-burnout play workshops. You can find out more at www.neuromixconstulting.com.
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